Important poll finds people would like to do things they can't do

Most Americans would rather read minds than fly, a super poll of super powers conducted by the super people at the super Marist Institute for Public Opinion in Poughkeepsie has found. Super.

An equal percentage of people who want to read minds, 28 percent, said in the poll they'd like to travel through time.

Among other super powers in the poll were teleportation and, my personal favorite, "unsure," a super power chosen by 8 percent of Americans, who were probably unsure why they were being asked such questions by the influential polling institution.

But don't ask me. I don't read minds.

Up, up and away!