Thursday, August 19, 2010

Gnome Chomsky loses Guinness record to (right-wing?) fiberglass gnome from Poland

The record is broken.

Gnome Chomsky, Homegrown Mini-Golf and Kelder's Farm, gigantic, 13-foot, 6-inch-tall garden gnome, has lost the Guinness World Record it has held since 2006 as largest garden gnome, the farm announced today.

A group at the University of Iowa Reiman Gardens took up the challenge and unveiled a 15' cement gnome last April. But the group was informed by Guinness that the record for largest garden gnome had already been broken by a Polish group called MALPOL.

MALPOL created a 17-foot, 8-inch-tall gnome made fiberglass in 2009 and had been granted the world record by Guinness.

The farm quotes uber musician and local resident Graham Parker as saying, "I thought I saw a tear in Chomsky's eye when I passed by the other day. Cheer up fella, those others are just pretenders."

Town of Rochester Supervisor Carl Chipman said in the release, "We held the record for a good four years. Our gnome is still very precious to us."

"I am outraged that a gnome made of a synthetic material such as fiberglass would be accepted by the folks at Guinness," said Deborah Artman, librettist and writer, in the release. "If any organization should be a stickler for authenticity, Guinness is it! It's time for a petition! I'm ready to sign!"

The farm adds:

"We have written to the Guinness Company to ask them about their perplexing decision to allow a fiberglass gnome to qualify. But even were they to disqualify the Polish contender, we're still topped by the cement gnome in Iowa. What to do?

Chomsky Grows Up

"Our friends had ideas--ideas to make Chomsky the biggest once again. The ideas were so great we couldn't resist trying them out to see how they'd look. (We love Photoshop!) We've mocked-up the first to come in:

"Adding a tall flower to Chomsky's hat gives him a jaunty air, suggested by 8-year-old Bella Ramirez.

"A bigger hat would do the job--but how could he keep an eye on Route 209?"