Hudson Valley comes to Gnome Chomsky's rescue. (Bunch of liberals!)

Maria Reidelbach, owner of the Homegrown Mini-Golf at Kelder's Farm in Kerhonkson, has an update about Gnome Chomsky, the gigantic Northeast elitist liberal gnome that lost the Guinness World Record for tallest gnome to Johna Goldberg, or something like that.

There have been more ideas from community hippies since I last told you about this socialist menace.

So without further ado, here they are:

Since material doesn't matter to Guinness, convert Chomsky into an inflatable gnome, proposed Tom Herling.

A gigantic farm tool adds height and that "American Gothic" vibe, and was suggested by both Mona Lombardi and Deborah Artman, Deborah pointing out that the object on the end could be up-sized as necessary.

Another gnome riding on Chomsky's shoulders was Wayne Kelder's idea.

Platform shoes would give Chomsky the lift he needs, and were suggested by Joe Holdner, Sue Cosgrove and Chris Butler.

High-heels give Chomsky a chance to express his inner drag queen. A tip o' the chapeau to Terry Anya Hayes.

"I think Chomsky's stature could be elevated by his obtaining a higher degree. There are many online programs, so he could matriculate while staying on the farm. A PhD from MIT, where another Chomsky once walked the halls, would be fitting," writes Pam Kray.

Ted Lawrence had the most radical idea: "Cut off his head and add a spring--he'll be the largest gnome and largest bobble-head!"

Said Reidelbach, "We ended our press release by speculating that one day, Chomsky may find a sweetheart, one that's quite a bit bigger than he. And, while we don't have any plans for that at the moment, you never gnow with gnomes. Anyway, we still think we have the world's cutest garden gnome."

Gnome Chomsky loses Guinness record to (right-wing?) fiberglass gnome from Poland

The record is broken.

Gnome Chomsky, Homegrown Mini-Golf and Kelder's Farm, gigantic, 13-foot, 6-inch-tall garden gnome, has lost the Guinness World Record it has held since 2006 as largest garden gnome, the farm announced today.


A group at the University of Iowa Reiman Gardens took up the challenge and unveiled a 15' cement gnome last April. But the group was informed by Guinness that the record for largest garden gnome had already been broken by a Polish group called MALPOL.

MALPOL created a 17-foot, 8-inch-tall gnome made fiberglass in 2009 and had been granted the world record by Guinness.

The farm quotes uber musician and local resident Graham Parker as saying, "I thought I saw a tear in Chomsky's eye when I passed by the other day. Cheer up fella, those others are just pretenders."

Town of Rochester Supervisor Carl Chipman said in the release, "We held the record for a good four years. Our gnome is still very precious to us."

"I am outraged that a gnome made of a synthetic material such as fiberglass would be accepted by the folks at Guinness," said Deborah Artman, librettist and writer, in the release. "If any organization should be a stickler for authenticity, Guinness is it! It's time for a petition! I'm ready to sign!"

The farm adds:

"We have written to the Guinness Company to ask them about their perplexing decision to allow a fiberglass gnome to qualify. But even were they to disqualify the Polish contender, we're still topped by the cement gnome in Iowa. What to do?

Chomsky Grows Up

"Our friends had ideas--ideas to make Chomsky the biggest once again. The ideas were so great we couldn't resist trying them out to see how they'd look. (We love Photoshop!) We've mocked-up the first to come in:


"Adding a tall flower to Chomsky's hat gives him a jaunty air, suggested by 8-year-old Bella Ramirez.



"A bigger hat would do the job--but how could he keep an eye on Route 209?"