Wednesday, April 16, 2008

It's the law!

Today's Life lesson in irrelevance is about our laws. It doesn't get any more irrelevant than that.

Here are links to some real stories used in the making of the column, in case you are wondering if anything was made up:

Little People Oppose Events In Which Dwarfs Are Objects
-- Associated Press, via New York Times, July 3, 1989

The activity, which the Associated Press called a sport in its news stories, was banned in Florida before New York passed its own ban. The rest of the country, as you know, is busy doing other things, like bear wrestling.

Gov. Mario Cuomo signs bans on dwarf tossing and dwarf bowling
-- New York Times, July 25, 1990:

Cuomo signed, according to the Times, "A bill outlawing 'dwarf tossing' and 'dwarf bowling' in bars. In dwarf tossing a midget is strapped in a harness and hurled on a rubber mattress; in dwarf bowling a midget is strapped to a skateboard and rolled down an alley into a set of pins."

United Nations: Rights Panel Upholds 'Dwarf Tossing' Ban
-- New York Times, Sept. 28, 2002

Oh, Mo.! Say it ain't so:
Mo. Asked to Ban 'Cage Fighting' by Kids
-- Associated Press, April 4, 2008.

Lawmakers propose crosswalk cell phone ban
-- Chicago Sun Times, April 3, 2008