Thursday, December 20, 2007

"Something" of the Year

A year after selecting "YOU" as Person of the Year, Time Magazine finally decided to be a news magazine and pick a real newsmaker: The adorable Vladimir Putin of Russia (photo at right confirms his cuteness).

Runner ups ("losers") were:
* Al Gore, for appearing in "Futurama";
* J.K. Rowling, for inspiring countless Harry Potter rip-offs;
* Hu Jintao, for bringing all that lead to our children's toys; and
* David Patraeus, for being a general with "Peaches" as a nickname.

The reasons may be different according to Time. I don't know. I cancelled my subscription when it picked you as Person of the Year in 2006.


I would have picked the following:


* Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, for bringing the red shirt and the huge portrait back in vogue; for having an hours-long prime time show on Sundays, all about him; and -- my favorite -- for instituting a Daylights Savings Time of half an hour.

* Iranian President Imadinnerjacket, for amusing the world with his comedy routines about having no gays in Iran and the Holocaust never happening (where does this guy get his stuff?)

* The world itself, for being warm to us all.


* Illegal immigrants, for cleaning the lawns, building houses and picking the apples for the people that hate them the most.

* Vice President Dick Cheney's heart, because it's still kicking.

Hudson Valley

* Vice President Dick Cheney, for not shooting anybody in the face when he decided to hunt in Dutchess County.

* "Almighty God," for getting busted.

* Bob Dylan, because the man who inspired "I'm not there" was not here when the film premiered. He was here, however, for a concert at Bethel Woods and he rehearsed at the Bardavon in Poughkeepsie (but did not not tell anybody).

* Kingston Mayor James Sottile, for getting re-elected and getting slapped.

Feel free to add to the list.