News jargon, explained
The following is a (rather incomplete) list of news terms, loosely based on the Newspaper Journalism Glossary, but horribly and/or better explained by yours truly because why not. So without further introduction, here's a bunch of words.
* Agate: A type size that cannot be read by humans.
* All Caps: Website comments' default setting.
* Advertorial: Or Native Advertising online, a form of writing that usually tells people about the awesomeness of Scientology.
* AP: A wire service that moves a story after everyone else is done tweeting about it.
* Background: What a reporter copy-pastes into a new story from his/her previous story.
* Beat: Covering a story enough times that your sources feel very comfortable screaming obscenities at you.
* Bias: A story that's not slanted the way you wanted.
* Blogger: A derogatory term used to insult other journalists.
* Brief: Re-purposed news release.
* Budget: Story ideas. It's not like news organizations have any money.
* Byline: The name of the writer of the story that no reader has noticed.
* Caption: The space under a photo where editors put typos.
* Circulation: An arrow going down.
* Column: In print, Old people writing things they don't understand; Online: bloggers insulting the olds.
* Conflict of Interest: White House Correspondents Dinner.
* Copy Desk: Fictitious place in a newsroom.
* Cover Story: The one story that had art.
* Credibility: What journalists are accused of not having.
* Dateline: The location a journalist puts at the beginning of the story even though he/she was not really there.
* Deadline: A specific time where stories are not filed.
* Direct Quote: Misquote.
* Draft: Hieroglyphics.
* Editor: Angry White Man.
* Embargo: Bulls***
* Flash: A link you clicked on that has nothing but what the headline already told you.
* Follow-up: What should have been done.
* Freelancer: Reporter without health insurance.
* Headline: The main spot to put typos. Usually starts with, 'Your Not Going To Believe What ..'
* Inverted Pyramid: A type of story structure now replaced by listicles.
* Investigative Journalism: HAHAHAHAHAHA you're funny.
* Journalist: Blogger.
* Jump: The part of the story where everyone stops reading.
* Kerning: What editors use to fit 100 words in two lines in a column.
* Kicker: A word or words that usually goes on top of a headline that editors consider utterly unnecessary but it's there by design, so whatchagonnado?
* Kill Fee: What's going to happen to that story you worked so hard on.
* Layout: Something done not in your newsroom anymore.
* Lead or Lede: It's too long. Make it shorter.
* Masthead: The space on the front page where there's a sticker ad.
* Mug: The worst possible photo of a person that will become the only photo that is used for that person.
* Nut Graf: A hastily written sentence that mischaracterizes the story that follows.
* Objectivity: See 'Bias.'
* Off the Record: Everything that's true that's the complete opposite of what they just told you on the record.
* On the Record: "No comment."
* Paraphrase: What a reporter writes when she/he can't decipher his/her own notes.
* Pica pole: Device used by copy-editors to threaten others.
* Pitch: A story idea that will be rejected.
* Proof: Doesn't happen.
* Reefer or Refer: A column by Maureen Dowd.
* Revision: Stories that were corrected but there's no mention of the correction and the editor hopes nobody notices it but people already screen-grabbed it.
* Scoop: Likely inconsequential, if true.
* Sidebar: Information reporters didn't know how to fit in a story, so they wrote another one.
* Skybox: A promo that will look horribly insensitive juxtaposed to the ad next to it.
* Slug: A word used to describe the story that the reporter didn't actually used when filing the story and now nobody can find it in the CMS.
* Source: Person saying things.
* Subhead: Smaller typos.
* Tip: Deleted emails.
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