Note to Ulster Comptroller

Dear Elliott: When announcing a no-laughing-matter important audit about the Health Department, it might be prudent to not smile when announcing the report.

Also, your photo was shrunk, and you're missing an apostrophe in your (yet-to-be-updated) blog.


UPDATE: The blog was updated. "Peoples" still needs an apostrophe.

Update: Apostrophe fixed (see comment) and English wins.. Palens still lose.
Damming report follows.

Ill Health UC Dept. of Health Report

Reporters FAIL!

Visit www.failblog.org for more shenanigans, like this:


see more Epic Fails

Past Giuliani lectures present Giuliani

A Marist poll of New York City residents released today reveals that 45 percent of of residents think it’s a good idea to have the trial of five alleged terrorists in New York City while 41 percent believe it’s a bad one. 14 percent aren’t sure.

Also divided is former city Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who was in favor of such trials in 2006 but now is against it.

"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" has him debating his past self (skip to minute 3). Viewing is hilarious and mandatory.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Law & Order: KSM
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Hey there! BarackObama is NOT using Twitter

To the almost 3 million people who are following President Barack Obama on Twitter, here's a quote from Obama today:

“Well, first of all, let me say that I have never used Twitter.”

Also, he's not "following" you, either.

Hudson Valley Vampire Alert!

From the Hudson Valley Film Commission:

If you were driving up Route 28 through Andes on Friday and feared that vampires and armed marauders had taken over – FEAR NOT. Shotgun carrying vigilantes were simply battling two vampires on the set of STAKE LAND, a Glass Eye Pix feature
film production directed by Andes resident, Jim Mickle.

"Stake Land" Special Effect guru Brian Spears with corpses (Hudson Valley Film Commission photo)



Here's the teaser trailer:

Schwarzenegger: "Dear Assembly: No. Also, Fxxx You"

Gigantic knife-wielding Calif. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed a bill today in the highly offensive letter above.

Why so offensive? Read it vertically.

Read the whole San Francisco Chronicle account.

Gray Lady discovers Kingston beer - and likes it

Mother's Milk, a stout made by Keegan Ales in Kingston, was picked today as the 10th best North American Stouts by The New York Times.

Here's the rundown.

Full disclosure: I'm a big fan of Mother's Milk. And Joe Mama's (it's a stout with coffee, so spare me the snark).

Climate change solved

It's true!* You can thanks the Model X7 SurvivaBall, Unit Z5-11, Version 11.7, brought to you by The Yes Men. The Freeman spoke with them about their efforts.

Here's guide to the basic functions and properties of the Halliburton Model X7 SurvivaBall for use in catastrophic or potentially catastrophic conditions.

And check out some informational videos:









* It's not.

Testosterone and the election

From the study's conclusion:

Confirming our first hypothesis, we found that men who voted for Barack Obama (winner) had stable post-outcome levels of testosterone, and men who voted for John McCain or Bob Barr (losers) had decrements in their testosterone levels.

Testosterone and the Election

Newsman in peril

If you don't want to search for search studies ...

... here are the links of the studies mentioned in "Web searches may aid brain (waste away)."

* UCLA study finds that searching the Internet increases brain function.

* First-time Internet users find boost in brain function after just one week.

* The Internet as a Diversion.

The full survey is below.

PIP the Internet as a Diversion

Searches and puppies

In my perennial quest for irrelevancy, I managed to include a reference to this video in "Web searches may aid brain (waste away)":



As you can see, it was totally worth it.

Sen. Gillibrand finds Twitter ...

... to hype her piece at the Huffington Post.

Burning questions, redux

Some members of the First Ulster County Militia were (reasonably) not amused by "A battle for the burning of Kingston" and the post below.

Mainly, as one commenter said, Militia members want to convey that the incident was serious and was "not a prank."

Below is a photo provided by Gene Tozzi, the Mercury's captain, of the boat when it was found on Tuesday afternoon.



The good news is that it seems the boat will be able to participate in the burning of Kingston this weekend.

The perpetrator(s) is/are still at large/delusional.

Burning questions

I told you to keep an eye on him.

No longer after filing "A battle for the burning of Kingston" on Tuesday, the newsroom received a report that the Burning-bound boat "The Mercury" had been stolen. Police Chief Gerald Keller and the craft’s captain, Gene Tozzi reported the boat, which was going to reprise the role of The Lady Washington during the Burning re-enactment, was recovered late Tuesday afternoon.

I had written this before that report:

What actually happened in Kingston on Oct. 16, 1777, was this:

About 1,600 British troops under the direction of Maj. Gen. John Vaughan — who had called the then village “a nursery for almost every villain in the country” — camped out at Marist College and had one of their boats stolen by local gadfly Allan Wikman because he was angry about historical inaccuracies and because he had a lot of free time. The troops then called 911 to report a stolen boat, recovered the boat after Wikman lost it and then arrived at what is now Kingston Point Beach, which, thankfully, was open to the public that year.

Not only has Wikman admitted to taking a boat in 2007, he even gave photos of the incident to journalist Steve Hopkings, who wrote extensively about it.

The photo at right is of the 25-foot-long boat DeSager on the night the boat was stolen.



I received an e-mail today from a very tickled Wikman, who wrote:

“About 7 AM yesterday (October 13), a woman called me. 'Thought you'd like to know we borrowed 'The Lady Washington.' Had a party out on the Hudson. Left her tied up to a tree. If you have a camera and you hurry, you may get some pictures."

Wikman asked me if I wanted to see the photos, I told him yes.

Behold:



There were 10 photos. The time stamp in them has them being taken between 7:51 and 8:01 a.m. Tuesday. According to police, the boat was stolen from the Maritime Museum between 7:30 Monday and 7:45 a.m. Tuesday, when it was reported stolen.

So I asked Wikman the obvious question.

He swears he didn't do it.

'Moises' Mardi Gras Against Cancer'

Kingston Mayor James Sottile announced on Monday that in the city, every second Tuesday of October will officially be known as, “Moises’ Mardi Gras Against Cancer Day.”

The late Moises Perez Jr. died Thursday afternoon at Benedictine Hospital after a long struggle with cancer.

“Moises Perez was a great man whose undeniable respect and contributions to this city stands second only to the strength he showed during his long battle with cancer. Now he will never be forgotten,” Sottile said in a prepared statement.

Keegan Ales will hold a Fat Tuesday-style event at 5 p.m. today in remembrance of Moises.

“The Moises' Mardi Gras Against Cancer” will begin 5 p.m. at Keegan Ales at 20 St. James Street, Kingston and boast a pig roast, live zydeco with Prof. Louie and the Cromatix, as well as Fat Tuesday-style clothing, beads and a parade starting around 9 p.m. from Keegan Ales to Snapper McGee’s on North Front Street, where an official toast will take place at 10 p.m.

Keegan Ales already raised more than $800 at its anniversary party on Oct. 3 to help Mr. Perez. Said Keegan, “This was Moises’ last wish and we want it to be honored. Our plan is to party in the name of Moises while donating all proceeds to the Rosemary Gruner Fund [a division of the Benedictine Health Foundation]. Now with the Mayor’s blessing, we will be able to continue celebrating the life of our dear friend, while continuing to raise money for a great cause.”

The Rosemary D. Gruner Memorial Fund provides financial assistance to cancer patients and their families in Ulster County. More information about the fund and how to donate can be found at www.bikeforcancer.org. More information about “Moises’ Mardi Gras Against Cancer” can be found at www.keeganales.com.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Moises was my roommate, but this event was not organized by yours truly, but by Tom Keegan, whom I also know.

UPDATE: More than $1,200 was raised for the Rosemary Gruner Fund.

CBS fights unwinnable fight

'CBS Removes David Letterman’s Mea Culpa From YouTube,'
reads a headline in The New York Times, in a story that adds, "The network did not provide an official copy."

Not mentioned is the fact that the whole 10-minute video - unofficial, I must assume - has been on the New York Times Web site since last week.

And here.

And there's a short version here ...



... and here ...




... and plenty of other versions, on YouTube, more than a dozen times.

The Messenger premiere

For more videos, visit http://www.youtube.com/user/woodstockfilmfestiva.

Yes, the link doesn't have the last letter in "festival." Blame the Interne.

Walkway opening ceremonies also online

If you are unable to attend the opening ceremonies of Raining, I mean, Walkway Over the Hudson, you can still see the entire opening festivities a Saturday online from the dry, dry comforts of your home.

The link is http://www.totalwebcasting.com/live/walkway/

Opening performers include folk legeng Pete Seeger of Beacon and Highland's Voices of Glory, who placed fifth in "America's Got Talent". Gov. David Paterson will be on hand for the "Tying of the Knot" ceremony (and probably to say that, darn in, he's running for re-election no matter what everyone says).

The grand puppet procession across the river by 3,000 Ulster and Dutchess county volunteers is at 1 p.m.

Old Rhinebeck Aerodrome antique planes are expected to fly over the bridge at 2:30 p.m.

The Walkway is 212 feet above the river, and a mile and a quarter long. It is the longest pedestrian bridge in the world.

Robert Feldman of Total Webcasting is donating his services to provide the feed of the opening ceremonies and parade. The feed will also be archived online.

For more information about the grand opening and schedule of events, see www.Walkway.org

Race relations

Much has been said about U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson's mid-September "You Lie!" screech directed at President Barack Obama, and many have implied that aside from being boorish and plain-old crazy, it was racist, something that I touched upon slightly in "Health Care, explained (poorly)."

It's a simplistic argument, I think, and belittles some who have valid criticisms.

Nobody called Kanye West racist, for instance, when he interrupted Obama:



Having said that, there is no denying that there's a good deal of people who are racist, and that when people call out racism sometimes, they are accused of playing the race card, a point cartoonist Keith Knight made clear recently, when he drew himself like this:



If the satire was clear to you, it was lost on the students of Slippery Rock University in western Pennsylvania:



It was also lost on WYTV, which ran the headline, "Students upset over racist cartoon."

And yes, students are protesting the cartoon by wearing nooses over their necks. Go figure.

Knight, whose syndicated "K Chronicles" ran at Ulster County Community College when I was editor of The Senator there, issued a statement:

In the first panel of this specific comic strip, white people accuse a black man, who is about to be lynched, of pulling the race card. This is an exaggerated, satirical version of what we often see and hear in mainstream media: the victim gets accused of pulling the race card, which is an easy way to dismiss the real issues involved.

Students talk about experiencing real-life incidents of racism on campus, yet it is my satirical comic strip they're protesting over. I'd like to hear what the students are going through. If this uproar causes the school to address those issues, then my comic has done its job.