Attack of the immigrant

From a front-page Monday story:

"The report released Monday by the Fiscal Policy Institute said that immigrants contributed $229 billion last year to New York state's gross domestic product — or 22 percent of total output. While almost three-quarters of the state's 4 million immigrants live in New York City, researchers said their contributions are crucial to the economic success of the entire state." (emphasis mine).

From an unscientific online Freeman poll on today's A3:

Are immigrants important to the economy of upstate New York?
Yes: 31.5 percent
No: 68.5 percent

I hope, then, that none in the 68.5 percent needs a doctor (a third in Upstate New York) or a teacher (one in five upstate) or a roof or a garden or an apple or a Life editor (one).

...

Next poll: Is the sky blue?
I can't wait for the answers.

Award-winning headline

"Ulster Tomorrow plan to be delayed until next year"

The lead is better:

"KINGSTON - 'Ulster Tomorrow,' the much awaited strategy/action plan for revitalizing the county's economy that was due in mid-November, won't see the light of day until January."

As Mark Twain said, "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

I've actually been waiting for a headline like this (as in "Ulster Tomorrow meets today") since the group came to light. I'm sure there will be more.

About those toys

The New York Public Insterest Reseach Group released its annual hazardous toys list, called "Trouble in Toyland" (which would be cute if it wasn't serious) just in time for you to freak out if you are doing your shopping today.

Have fun.

Gobble, gobble

"Norman the turkey will live past Thanksgiving, rescue group says"" was a headline in the Thanksgiving edition of the Freeman.

I was reading that as I was ironically eating turkey yesterday.

I began to think about the birds that made it, and those who didn't.

Here is one that made it:

The Associated Press reported that "May," above, was pardoned by President Bush at the White House on Thursday. The bird here is riding atop a float as she serves as honorary grand marshal of the Thanksgiving Day Parade on Main Street in Disney's Magic Kingdom on Thanksgiving Day. Which is understandable. I would also go to Disneyland if my life was pardoned or if I were to win the Superbowl.

Here is one turkey that didn't make it, as reported by the Associated Press:



Rachel Portnoy, 17, center, said the turkey "exploded" after her father, Rich Portnoy (behind Rachel), had taken out of the oven the 72-pound dressed bird.

Let me repeat that: A 72-POUND TURKEY.

Rich Portnoy has an annual contest with his sister, who lives in Virginia, on who has the biggest turkey. Rich was victorious this year (duh!), with a 59-week-old turkey the family bought from an area farmer.

The family gave the bird a nickname: "Barry Bonds."

"I feel like I won the World Series," said Ron about finding the large bird, fitting it in the oven and then tasting the flavorful turkey, which hopefully didn't have any steroids.

A 'Thanksgiving' trailer

Remember Quenting Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's double feature "Grindhouse"?

Between the two horror-homage/parodies there were fake movie trailers, one of them for "Thanksgiving," directed by real director Eli Roth ("Hostel")

Here is the EXTREMELY RATED R trailer for the parody.
(You don't have to hit "play," but I know you will, so enjoy it. Just make sure you're not eating).



...
Rodriguez also did a very funny fake trailer for "Machete" which will actually become a movie in a year or two. He is also working on two sequels for "Sin City."

Nice.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Imus is back, and Levon is happy

The Daily News reported yesterday (on page 73, found by Freeman colleague Dwayne Kroohs), that Woodstock's Levon Helm will be at the new "Imus in the Morning" show (on 77WABC) in New York City on Dec. 3. Yep, Don Imus, of "nappy-headed hoes" fame.

Tickets are $100. But all proceeds will be donated to the Imus Ranch for Kids With Cancer. So don't feel bad.

Check out Imus' site or Helm's for more details.

And no. I'm not going to get into the whole Imus controversy (the Freeman had an editorial cartoon today) because I don't care about shock jocks shocking people with one shocking statement out of hundreds that apparently were not shocking (they were, and very much so).

3's company

The end is begun, again.

The Woodstock-based band 3 (led by Joey Eppard, center, the son of Jimmy and brother of Josh) plays with Counterfeit Disaster in a homecoming concert Saturday at 9 p.m. at the Bearville Theater on Tinker Street. Tickets are $18.

And on Feb. 19, The Metal Blade band is set to re-release its sophomore album "The End is Begun" with a bonus track and DVD. The bonus track is a spin on the classic Pink Floyd song, "See Emily Play" (That was Syd Barrett's Pink Floyd).

The bonus DVD will feature live performances of the songs˜Monster," "Bramfatura" and "Amaze Disgrace" (all songs from "Wake Pig") from a show from Worcester, Mass. Production videos of the songs "All that Remains" and "Alien Angel" will also be included on the bonus DVD.

for more info on the band, visit http://www.theband3.com/. Or become the band's "friend" at www.myspace.com/3.
Visit http://www.bearsvilletheater.com/ or call (845) 679 4406 for more information about the concert.
...
The photo, by the way, was taken by former Freeman photographer Daniel McCabe.

Movies, movies, movies

A trio of movies with local connections are playing around the area soon:

"Racing Daylight": Shot in the Hudson Valley and starring Oscar-nominated actor David Strathairn of Dutchess County and Melissa Leo of Accord.
Here's the gorgeous teaser trailer (in Quicktime). The movie plays at Vanderlin Hall at Ulster County Community College in Stone Ridge at 7 p.m. on Nov. 29. Writer and director Nicole Quinn, also a local, and producer Sophia Raab-Downs will present their film. The showing is free. Sweet.
Visit http://www.racingdaylightthemovie.com/home.htm for more information on the movie and UCCC's web site for more information on the screening.

"I'm Not There": The main course at the Woodstock Film Festival about that former Woodstock resident called Bob (played by six different actors, including Cate Blanchett and Richard Gere) crosses the river and makes it to Upstate Films in Rhinebeck this weekend. Visit http://www.upstatefilms.org/ for dates and times. Here's the trailer.

"Romance & Cigarettes": Former SUNY New Paltz drama student John Turturro's weird musical starring James Gandolfini, Susan Sarandon, Kate Winslet, Christopher Walken and part-time Ulster County resident Steve Buscemi also plays at Upstate Films this weekend.
Here's the trailer in Quicktime.

Back with a vengance

Not really. I just wanted to write that.

I've been off the news, actually, a habit which proved quite hard for me to quit.

I relapsed a number of times -- one time on Election Day to find out who lost (I'm mean); when I heard some horribly unreliable account of a grenade a block from my house; to find out what the heck is going on in Pakistan (darn Musharraf!); and a host of other inexplicable times when I just had to know what was going on.

So now that we're close to Thanksgiving and I'm back in the game, I can let you know about THE TOYS THAT WILL KILL YOUR KIDS THIS SEASON!

Not really (I told you I was mean). Actually, what's going on is that The New York Public Interest Research Group is to release its yearly report on hazardous toys tomorrow in New Paltz. Details are here.

Hope is all well, and that Sleepy Cat below kept you warm.

Because I won't.

I'm out

I'm going to be on vacation for a couple of weeks.
Since I've become some sort of souless source for useless information, I'll leave you with Sleepy Cat, one of the most famous celebrities on YouTube.




AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

I'll come back now and again to bore you some more.

Heroes

From the wire...

"NEW YORK (AP) — When Debbie Parkhurst choked on a piece of apple at her Maryland home, her dog jumped in, landing hard on her chest and forcing the morsel to pop out of her throat. When the Keesling family of Indiana was about to be overcome by carbon monoxide, their cat clawed at wife Cathy's hair until she woke up and called for help."
"For their nick-of-time acts, Toby, a 2 1/2-year-old golden retriever, and Winnie, a gray-eyed American shorthair, were named Dog and Cat of the Year by the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals."
...
I couldn't help but notice that those animals' actions resemble those of my own cat.
Although, now that I think about it, my cat likes to claw my face, not my hair, and he doesn't care if I'm sleep or not.
He also likes to jump on my chest, but so he can get closer to my face.

I know, he's as cute as they come.

Before I forget, the story also mention that "five humans were honored" at the event.

But nobody cares about that, right?

Not to be outdone ...

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) - The taxman in Iowa is going after jack-o'-lanterns this Halloween.

The new department policy was implemented after officials decided that pumpkins are used primarily for Halloween decorations, not food, and should be taxed, said Renee Mulvey, the department's spokeswoman.

Previously, pumpkins had been considered an edible squash and exempted from the tax.

...

Boy, I love New York

Only in Texas

From the wire ...

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) — State agencies issue too many reports, a new 668-page report says.

Thrilling

Seventy eight people, largely from the Center for Creative Education, the Energy Dance Company and the Percussion Orchestra of Kingston, gathered Saturday in Kingston High School to participate in the worldwide attempt to set the Guinness record for most people participating in a simultaneuos dance - all re-creating the routines from Micheal Jackson's 'Thriller' video.
Here's the video of that attempt (The Freeman had the photos Sunday, which were taken by Garret Lown, as you can tell by watching the lower corner at the beginning of the video).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slxhLV-FsEY

Hot news

From the wire ...

"Doctors are dripping the chemical that gives chili peppers their fire directly into open wounds during knee replacement and a few other highly painful operations."

"Don't try this at home: These experiments use an ultra-purified version of capsaicin to avoid infection — and the volunteers are under anesthesia so they don't scream at the initial burn."

Note the word "volunteers."

I would have loved to see that classified ad:

"Need volunteers with so we can dump hot pepper on their open wounds. Anesthesia included. Lemon, salt optional. Call Dr. Pepper."

To be fair

Since I took a lively jab at the campaign of Jonathan Sennett three posts below, I think it is only proper to take on the campaigns of the other candidates for Ulster Conty district attorney.

• In the signs, why is “VINCENT BRADLEY” so big and the other part of the name so small? What’s up with that, junior?

• Experience this! I swear (not really) I’m going to experience a heart attack if I experience another instance of the word “experience” from the Holley Carnright experience.

If you want to get shot in the face

From today's A6 ...


"Cheney due in Dutchess on Monday -- and he'll be armed"

IT'S RAINING OUT THERE!

There’s a couple of guys on the traffic circle right now carrying signs for La-Z Boy.

The store is going out of business, or as it says, “OUT OF BUSINESS!” (I hope it’s trying to get you excited about the "SALE!" and not it’s financial woes).

Anyway, it’s pouring out (“POURING!” the store would say), and the poor dudes look very cold, uncomfortable and wet.

Mean La-Z Boy.

I mean, MEAN LA-Z BOY!

Been there, done that

A candidate for Ulster County district attorney will spend Saturday night with a family in Midtown Kingston.


I guess the implication is that he’s a brave man because Midtown is scary.



Because, you know, Midtown is the home of all those scary things like City Hall, Kingston High School, the Ulster Performing Arts Center, Kingston Hospital, the YMCA, the Bank of America and my residence, not to mention the home of Freeman reporter Blaise Schweitzer, who’s so scary he talks to people for a living (Blaise also likes to say he lives a stone throw’s away from my place, thought he hasn’t done that — yet).



Other brave souls who have spent parts of the night in Midtown in years past include Whoopi Goldberg and New York Times Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Thomas Friedman. David Crosby and Graham Nash will be in Midtown tonight. And Bill Cosby is coming to Midtown’s UPAC in March.

Spooky.


I am being ridiculous, of course, since there are certain undesirable elements in town, to put it mildly. In my many strolls through Broadway at night, I have been offered many goods and services, and none of them were good for anyone or serviceable at any point.


Blaise and reporter Bonnie Langston, longtime readers might recall, spend a whole night walking on Broadway in Midtown one night in July of 1988, a day after the slaying of a 19-year-old Anna Kithcart, a woman whose body was found in a morning of July 1988 near abandoned railroad tracks in the city.


That is scary.


Here are the guys doing just that (with '80s hairdos to boot) in a photo never published taken by the late Bill Madden:

"I have a permit for my stockpile, officer."

From today's wire ...

"NORRISTOWN, Pa. (AP) _ A 14-year-old boy accused of plotting a Columbine-style attack on a school has admitted in juvenile court that he illegally stockpiled weapons" (emphasis mine).

Which begs the question:

Can a 14-year-old boy have a legal stockpile of weapons?

And if so, how would that contribute to the "well regulated Militia ... necessary to the security of a free State"?

(That, by the way, is the part nobody quotes from the Second Amendment).

BANG!